BPD Awareness Month
Well it’s that time again and it really has come round fast, last year I was getting ready with the purple wristbands and this year I have the new tri-colour ones. Since the post yesterday I have had some orders come in so have been busy getting them ready to send out later today. I am hoping to get up to the 50% mark soon so I can make a donation and up to 100% when I can make another… 
Time seems to have flown recently, a minute ago it was Christmas, Jan & Feb I felt rubbish and life was not good, however I am feeling much better now thankfully. I have been walking about 20 miles a week and I find that it’s really helping and now the weather is getting better, even better. I have also been eating lots of healthy food, lots of fruit and veg and staying away from take away’s and so on, my body feels rejuvenated. The last few weeks I have been somewhat busy looking after my friend that I care for. My cats have been staying with him and I have also as I wanted to keep an eye on him. Still he’s doing much better than he has been and things are getting a little easier.
I have been working on some computers also, the bargain that I got a while came back although it had to be sent away the first time it came back again. Still I eventually got it back and sadly it was not quite the spec I needed so I just renewed and have got it ready to sell, just need to sell it now, the ads I’ve posted are getting some views. I managed to get another bargain to replace this one and am currently waiting in today for its arrival. It’s actually a really good spec and just what I need so just hope it’s in good condition as the pictures were not too clear and it’s not brand new.
I had a bit of stress a couple of days ago, one of my cats was a bit unwell so I had to take her to the vets and they kept her in over-night for observation. Still she seems ok now and seems to be doing really well so I can sigh a great relief. I love my cats so much and they have helped me immensely, I just love having them around. At night both of them tend to sleep on the bed with me, one next to me and the other at the bottom of the bed, so cute! I never used to let them sleep there for a while due to my allergies although they seem to have somewhat calmed down or I am getting used to them. All good news either way and like I said, it’s just great to have them, they are my family.
The bank holiday is coming up and due to the nice weather lots are getting excited, I so far have no real plans as yet but no doubt I will get out and do some walking. I hope you all manage to stay safe during the bank holiday and also get to do some nice things… I’m outa here for now but will be back to chat some more soon….. 
Oh and here’s a pic of my lovely girl!
Grey and cold
I cannot believe that we are in the middle of March and it’s so grey and cold, really doesn’t help us sufferers feel any better at all 
I just feel like hibernating and waking up when it’s warm again as even my feet are so cold all the time.
I have had a pretty quiet week, my ribs were hurting so I haven’t been able to go on the cross trainer and it’s been too cold and miserable to even feel like going for a walk. I sold my old laptop last night, well it wasn’t that old but I have upgraded to a newer faster one so that one needed to go towards the cost. I had to send it to Northern Ireland mind you so I hope there isn’t any problems otherwise it could work out quite expensive. I hope the guy is happy with it as it’s been well looked after and I have restored it back to all its original settings. I still have an old desktop to sell and a couple of mobile phones, so fingers crossed that they all get on their way as well. I quite enjoy selling things on-line, is fun and keeps you occupied and I also like buying as well, he he… My other new bargain of a computer has gone off for repair and waiting to see if they fix it or even better replace it (wishing thinking)… Still I should know next week what the news is and I am hoping to have it back by Wednesday so I can play with again without it crashing this time.
I have something exciting happening on Sunday but don’t want to say anything in case it doesn’t work out, I am hoping it works out for the good mind. If it does come off then I will however be coming here to write and tell you. I have been a bit lame for a while and was busy doing other things or being depressed and didn’t write here for some time. It’s hard when you don’t feel good to get any motivation to do the smallest things although it’s a therapeutic thing which is what I need to remind myself :-/
Yesterday I was over at the person I look after’s place, he is fine and so are my babies, my two cats I mean. I took them over to him before as he likes to spend time with them also and it;s good for him. Plus there’s a chance he may be going away for some time to get some help with his problems and I know how much he misses them. Things haven’t been too bad with him this week and he hasn’t been kicking off as much which means I can relax a bit more. I had to send a letter of to say I’m his carer due to the new bedroom tax thing, can’t believe what this government is doing. The fact that all on benefits now have to contribute towards their council tax also is going to push people into worse poverty. It’s such a shame as it really seems that all this government are doing is making things harder for the poorest people. The thing that I have been thinking is that it’s actually going to cost them more money as most people may not be able to afford it or keep up their payments and the cost of taking people to court is going to cost more than they are saving. I wonder if anyone has thought about that??
Next Sunday I am seeing the family for one of my sister’s birthday and also to celebrate Easter, I am looking forward to that. I must remember to go to the shops and get her a present and also for my Dad’s wife as I missed her birthday in January.
Still I have just looked at the weather for the weekend and it’s going to be cold, wet and doom and gloom. Don’t think I will be doing anything that exciting by the looks of things but hopefully something productive indoors instead. Anyway people, be safe, stay happy and for gawds sake keep warm…………. x
Aches
I have been having quite a lot of aches and pains for a while now, not joint pain but my actual bones. Most things click and when I wake up in the morning I am sore and as I get up a lot of things click. I think it’s time to discuss this with the doctor as it’s actually rather painful. In fact my back has been bad and silly me, I let my older, heavier sister offer to walk on my back and now I think I may have cracked a rib. I am in a lot of pain in that area so I think I may need to get that check out also
I have been busy the last few days working on some computers, fixing them up and getting them ready to sell. I have upgraded my things and I am a bit of a minimalist so would rather make the space. I also bought a bargain of a computer online and have been trying to fix that, however that one failed me as the hard drive is knackered. Mind you I did some good detective work yesterday after realising there was possibly still a warranty on there. I spoke to Acer then I took a gamble of ringing the business it previously belonged to and jackpot I spoke to the lady who was dealing with it. In fact I got all the details I would need to get the warranty swapped over and today it’s being picked up for repair so, so far so good. Just need to see what happens whilst it’s away as apparently it’s had the same fault previously…
I have been using my cross trainer whenever possible to burn a few pounds and also help me to feel better. After using it yesterday mind you my ribs have flared up again so doubt I will be able to use it today. I am also being a bit more sensible with it too as when I push myself too hard I don’t feel too well after so 45-55 minutes is an ample amount.
The wristbands have been going well, so far about 25 % of them have gone so once I reach 50 % I will be able to give a donation out. So hoping to get some more orders in but not in a mad rush as I am a bit sore and it will happen when it happens.
My cats are over at the person I care for’s flat which is nice for him as he looks after them very well and he also has a garden. I spent a couple of days over there last week but he is still very up and down to be honest. One day he is nice as pie and the next he can be blaming me for everything but I am used to it now. I was thinking of renting my flat out and staying with him but to save up some money but it’s not such a good idea as he can be unpredictable sometimes. I would like to move although in these difficult times I can’t find what I want within my budget so far so I am stuck here for now.
I have pulled away from the place near me that I was helping out, there was never going to be a job and they haven’t been that nice either. I was having some problems there and since I don’t go there so much I don’t feel as stressed as almost a weights come off so can’t be too bad, think they were zapping my energy, lol. So all in all apart from being sore, life isn’t too bad at the moment, the sun is finally starting to show its face which is nice… 
Shocking
Gosh it’s shocking that I haven’t been on here for soooooo long to come and write to you all and tell you what’s been happening. To be honest though I have been really busy, what with helping out at a little club local to me, being a carer and then having a bit of me time. Still the good thing is, the depression has been better the last few months which is a positive thing and helps with less hours of daylight. The one I care for has been looking after himself a bit more which means that I have been going over to visit him at home. Life is a lot easier now he is not under my feet all the time and I can get on and do things. Plus the drinking has stopped which is good news as that’s when more of the problems start as well. I have taken the cats over to him a couple of times also to stay for a while as I know he really cares about them and it’s company for him too.
My friend that I close with burned out and we only ended up being friends in the end, it was getting a little confusing so we didn’t speak for a while until things settled down. We are back being friends again and he is over for a visit shortly but only as friends which is cool for both of us. I have met someone else recently and we have got close but not so sure now as he doesn’t seem to want to put me first. It was all fun an excitement at the beginning but this week it’s just been let down after let down No doubt I am going to bump into him this evening but I need to put my foot down and let him know I am not a walk over. It’s a pity really as we get on so well but he has a friend that seems to get in the way all the time. It’s not my place to tell him not to see his friend but at the same time he should want to find the time to see and spend time with me. The other dampener is that he is off on holiday for a month at Christmas so that will be tough going if he stays for the duration. I am not sure he will manage it though as he is going with his silly friend who is a 100 miles an hour and might drive him round the bend! So guess only time will tell and this weekend I might find out what’s being going on as well.
I have done my Christmas shopping early again this year and I got some really good deals on line so now its just a case of wrapping. I need to warp them up soon mind you as I want to make sure I have bought enough for everyone and I haven’t missed anyone out.
I will try my best to come back on with an update as the last post was far too long ago. Missed you all and am thinking of you all…. <3
Suicide Awareness Week
Well I was looking at my blog the other day and thinking gosh I have not written for such a long time. Time’s have been hard recently and I was going through a really low patch and I just haven’t had the energy to come on and write. The person I care for took an over-dose and he was in hospital for a week so I had a lot of running around to do. I was trying to give up smoking and failing miserably and in fact every time I cut the nicotine down my mood was going lower and lower. I have had lots going on and trying to get through it all but at the same time feeling so bad was becoming a recipe for disaster.
I tried some new tablets for 5 weeks, they seemed to make me worse and restless and I didn’t feel like I was getting on with them. I had a break for a while and whilst all this other stuff was going on my mood was slowly slipping away. I have made a friendship and got close with someone which just hasn’t worked out and because he doesn’t live here it probably never will. We were talking most days on-line and it turned into like a bizarre relationship over the net but not much else. When he comes here we have met up and we do things together but the things is he always has to go back. I guess if he really liked me then he would choose to move back so as for now we will continue to be friends, just hard! I started to feel worse whilst cutting the nicotine right down again and asked a doctor for some medication. Something I have tried before but instead he wrote me out a prescription for something else. I told him I am very sensitive to meds and he said “oh these are mild and I think you will be fine with them”. Low and behold after about a week in, my head was all over the place. I had a bad reaction and a massive setback and ended up in hospital. I spent 5 days in hospital and I also had a urine infection and some other problem in my blood results. I felt like rubbish but there wasn’t a lot I could do and so that’s why I was quiet for a while.
The Psych’s also came to see me, one of them I met from before who I get on with and we had a good chat about things and I got a lot off my chest. On my last day another Psych came to see me and we also talked about what had happened and he suggested we try the tablets that I originally asked for. A week in I am starting to feel a little brighter already so I think they are actually helping and I don’t feel like I’m bloating out. The worse thing for me is when tablets bloat me out as I have always had weight issues so this is not a good thing for me.
So I am back to writing on here and I will start trying to make it a bit more regular, after all, it has over 5000 hits now and we are over 2000 members on Facebook. I have to remind myself of this as it’s taken me a lot of hard work to get to this point and without your support I wouldn’t be doing it. Thank you all for being part of this project and raising awareness of such a hard and debilitating illness.
One last thing… This Week is suicide awareness Week, Write ‘love’ on your wrist or wear something yellow to show your support for anyone who has or is having thoughts of attempting or succeeded in taking their own life.
Morning
Well I woke up at the lovely time of 5am and woke up to a living room full of feathers, my lovely cats decided to bring me a present. So I had to get to the hoover out straight away and hoover up as there were feathers all over the floor. I am having my morning fresh coffee and thinking about what I am going to get up to today. I took one of my cats to my friends grooming parlour last week as she is long-haired and it helps to get her groomed and looking nice. I am considering taking the other one there today as he has never been although he is different to her. The other cat is short-haired although a groom would do him good as she gets out all the dead hairs. Plus he gets a bath but the problem is he is very timid and he might not even come back in time. The other cat is good with other people but my male cat is quite the opposite, he runs when strangers come in. I guess I am going to still do some deciding but if I am going to go then I need to take him early so any other animals don’t frighten him.
I have so much to tell you and in May I did so many posts but I have been so busy that I haven’t had so many chances to sit down and write to you all. The one I care for court case is finally over and guess what, he WON! Thanks to put input, the solicitor and barrister, the court decided in his favour which was a weight off my shoulders. It was not an easy case to win as in his borough there is a huge housing shortage and the odds were pretty much against him. The case was very long and the first day we were there from 9am to 6pm and it was soooo tiring. The good thing was had a lady judge who was compassionate and the other sides barrister was a bit of a witch and she could see and even stood up for the pair of us in fact on a number of occasions. The barrister brought him to tears at one point, tried to question my ability due to mental health issues and then manipulated him into saying something that was not even the truth. The good thing was the judge saw it and she also believed all of my evidence which was fact to the point where me telling the truth could have jeopodised him somewhat. But that is what I am all about, I tell the truth and that’s how I wanted to be on the day was truthful but guess she respected me for it. I had to tell the court that he had been staying with me for most of the last twelve months or longer and this was because the council had forced us to get rid of a lot of his stuff. Like I said it could have jeoppodused him as the case was about his property but luckily instead of me making up a story I told the truth. At the end when the judge did her submissions, she pointed out that everything I said had helped her make up a picture of what had happened. I am glad it is finally over now as I had been carrying the whole thing on my shoulders and was really tough if I’m honest. The one I care for has calmed down a bit now and has not been drinking as much, the fact he thought he was going to have to leave was impacting him differently. I have also let him stay at his place and been having time to myself which has really been a help for me also. I feel more free at the moment and that I can do the things that I need to do without having him here and just getting on with what I need to to. I have been going over to him on most days, taking his meds and buying him some of the bits that he needs. I am also speaking to him on the phone a couple of times a day also but the peace is very nice.
I have been having some trouble with my meds for some time, I hadn’t been taking a lot but through going through a rough patch for a while I started again. I was only taking a low dose of an anti-depressant and tried to see if it would help again, I tried for about 5 weeks and they did liven me up but they still weren’t right for me. So low and behold I came off of them and am going down the natural route now. I was also trying to come off my sleeping pills, I had been on them for the best part of 2 years and for about 6 months, I was only taking a small amount most nights but just couldn’t seem to get off them completely. Low and behold with a lot of persistance, I have now manage to stop them for a good few weeks now. I feel so much better, I am only taking vitamins now and the odd painkiller for when I get any pain or headaches which I do on occasion. I have been taking a mineral solution that a friend recommended to me and that seems to have helped me quite a lot also. I have more energy now, my head feels a lot more clear and I am just feeling generally better in myself which is something to smile about. I have been getting a lot done and I have been enjoying life more than I have done for while so things more of an improvement for me at the moment. I may have a couple of options for getting myself back into work also, I have wooed a couple of people and will wait to see the outcome. I was going to try and set up a social enterprise but I have now decided against it as I am fully aware of my triggers. Stress being one of them and setting something like that up with the unknown funding factor would not be the right thing for me So as much as it was a good idea, I am learning what is right and wrong for me these days. I am still going to continue doing all of this voluntarily as it’s a great help for me and I get a lot from it and I feel that it is helping others also. So onwards and upwards as the old saying goes and I will keep you posted of all my news…..
PS – I still have a few wristbands left if anyone would like to get order then please see:
http://personalitydisordersupportnetwork.com/pdsn-wristbands/
Groomed kitty
Early Birds
Gosh I only went to bed after 11pm and woke up again at 3:30am, 4 hours sleep is not enough, I am going to be tired and grumpy later… ha! It’s been a fairly busy week this week so far, had a lot to get on with which has kept me pretty busy. My car was in for a repair and got it back yesterday so that made me smile, although I haven’t driven it very far yet. Apparently it’s going to be hammering in down with rain later so doubt I will be driving too far today either. I went for a couple of walks yesterday as it was nice and sunny but now with the rain forecast today I doubt I will get to walk. Still I could try to have a go on the cross trainer as I haven’t done for ages and maybe it will cheer me up a bit. Been a bit down in the dumps this week, not for any particular reason, just been feeling a bit flat. I haven’t been sleeping great which I guess doesn’t help and I have had a lot on my mind. We have the judgement on the case later this week for the one I care for so guess that’s been playing on my mind a bit. As I said before, he has been hitting self destruct a bit which is hard as he can take things out on me at the same time. The person that was brining a little light into my life seems to have gone a bit wrong so guess that’s not helping either. Still one of my cats is sitting by the window staring at me with her pretty face and that has brought me a little smile.
I do need to get some more exercise going as that normally makes me feel better. I have been smoking too much again, my attempts at giving up have not gone too well although I am still going to try again. I was in the supermarket yesterday and the lady was giving out some info so I gave her my details and I will be hearing from them soon. A more structured programme has been developed in my area where you get support, advice, stop smoking aids and also groups. Maybe that will help me to succeed a bit further this time as I know I want to do it, I just seem to hit brick walls along the way.
Gosh this seems like a miserable, moan moan, winge winge, post, where has all my positivity gone may I ask… Well I guess, life is not like that and if I only wrote when I was in a good mood then you would only see one side of what life is like. Oh and the rain started coming down now as well, ha, one of the cats wants to go out but she won’t like it. I hope that the rain falls and clears the sky so I get to go out for a nice walk today at some point. I have a fair few things to get on with today and keeping busy is one of the things that keeps me going. So for now, its ciao and will be back with some news soon…………
Morning
Hello you lovely people,
My word had some much going on lately haven’t had the chance to come on for a chat about what’s been going on in my crazy little world. Plus the couple of times that I did come on to write the site was down which was rather unusual as it’s normally reliable. Been up since 4:45am, one of my lovely cats decided to sit outside my bedroom door meowing because he was hungry, little sod! Did try to go back to sleep but once I am normally awake then unless I am really tired then that’s me. Still the sun has just started to come up now and looks like we might even be getting a decent day ahead.
Since the last time I wrote the one I care for spent a night in hospital due to his seizures as he normally has them in clusters. On the Thursday we had his court hearing as the council want to move him out of his flat which was a VERY long day. I was there as his carer and we sat through all the evidence from the council in the morning. The truth be known the council seemed to be telling a whole bunch of porkie’s, there stories were all very patchy or they will give I don’t know, I don’t remember answers. It was very hard and he wasn’t feeling that good and at one point I had to warn them that he may have a seizure and we had to take breaks. At lunch I got him something warm to eat and we sat in the car and warmed him up as the room had been very cold. The afternoon seemed a bit better although this time it was our turn to give evidence. Now bearing in mind he was quite wobbly in the morning and looked like he was going to have a seizure, cross-examination was not the best time for him. I was fuming as the barrister from the other side basically manipulated him into saying he saw a document which was the initial notice which never arrived. The reason why he recognised the document was because I had shown it to him previously and it was being shown in the morning due their witness evidence. I couldn’t believe how clever she was trying to be and I wasn’t allowed to say a word to explain to him what was actually happening. The next thing she did was imply that as he saw the document that this was why he had a bad turn because he saw the document. I knew what she was doing but I couldn’t intervene which I found really hard. Still the next morning I found an old e-mail which proved that what she implied happened was not correct as the time frame was wrong and I sent this to his solicitor for the barristers submission. So I was already annoyed by the sneakiness of the barrister so when it was my turn for cross-examination I was ready with gloves on. I answered all my questions as honest as possible and whenever she tried to imply something negative towards me I came back with an answer she wasn’t expecting. At one point she asked about my mental health issues and the judge stepped in to ask if she was questioning my ability which I thought was good. Still only one issue came up about how many stairs I have at my place as he stays with me quite often and at the end of the day, it ‘s my home not his. Oh and the fact he uses a bath round my place which again it’s my place not his and I don’t need to watch him so often when he has a walk in shower at his place. So all in all, it was a very long day and we didn’t have enough time for the judge to make her decision. The next part of the case will be held this Friday which is planned for a few hours and then we shall find out what the judge has decided. Hopefully she will see that the council were not being truthful and there were more things in his favour rather than against. To be honest it’s taking its toll on him also as he has been hitting self destruct a bit so a good outcome would be better for him.
The weekend it was the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee and on the Saturday I got up early and went out and about. I couldn’t get hold of him for most of the day so I presumed he had gone home and fallen asleep. Finally in the evening I got a call from him saying he was in hospital so then I knew that he had, had another seizure. On the phone he told me the hospital had lost all his stuff so could I bring some clothes and things to the hospital for him. The stuff included the bag I got for him which has all his important items in so I immediately called the bank to cancel his band card. I grabbed some things for him and got to the hospital as quick as I could to find out what happened. On the way I called security on my bluetooth to see if they had found or been given anything but they said that they hadn’t. Basically when they put him on a trolley they took his clothes off, coat and trainers and proceeded by putting it all on the trolley with his little bag he carries. Somewhere along the way his stuff had either been picked up or he had moved onto another trolley without his belongings. I was fuming “again” as all he had been left with was his socks, boxers, track suit bottoms and a hospital gown, nothing else! No money, no keys, no phone number to call me as they were in his wallet, luckily he remembered my house number or he would have been in more trouble until I found him. I had to go around the departments asking what had happened and try to get some help which wasn’t much. I did this on the Saturday and Sunday and I was stressed out as he had keys to my place also and had written my address down also. So that weekend was a total nightmare and as it was a double bank holiday they couldn’t check their safe until the Wednesday, or so they say. On the Wednesday I got in touch with the hospital and they said that nothing had been found so I then had to write-up a letter of complaint and describe what had been lost. I also had to write the value of the items and the possibility of getting locks changed as well. I had to phone the police due to the fact the items could have been stolen and the fact that they were lost in a place of care. One of the sisters had tried to claim he was responsible so I had to point out that he was post seizure so the hospital in fact were responsible, the list goes on. Still in the evening I watched the Queen’s Jubilee concert which I enjoyed very much and I got the chance to relax.
Last Tuesday, ten days later I went on a course for a day which I will talk about later, which was a very long day and I got a call on the way home. It was only the CT department and she had found a note that I put into his wallet. The note says if the person is taken to hospital with seizures then to call these numbers, the first being mine. I was like “you haven’t gone and found all his stuff have you?”. The lady replied by telling me that she had found his things and the note had enabled her to call me. Ten days later his stuff had been found on a trolley!! The trolley had been going around the hospital without anyone noticing it was on there or anyone checking it was there after we asked many departments where his thing were. I kept saying to staff it must be there somewhere as the whole lot disappeared together rather than just one thing. So the good news was, he got all his belongings back without a thing missing and the relief that they keys were safe was good news too! I went and picked it all up but I told them the complaint still needed to stand due to all that had happened from start to finish.
Any good news for me… Nope, ha ha, the friend that was messaging me a lot has been a bit of a nightmare. I couldn’t get my head around all of it and in the past week he has done nothing but let me down. I have been strong this time and told him that I was annoyed and when I missed his call yesterday I didn’t return it as he would expect. I was busy anyway, spent the day with an old mate, mixing some tunes and cooking a roast. Still that’s another story for another time as I am sure you will be exhausted after reading a snippet of the last couple of weeks, he he…
The view this morning
The Wait
After 7 months of waiting, on Monday the wait was finally over, I finally got my appointment to see the Neurologist again. I made sure we left early and the one I care for said he wanted to come along with me for some support, so off we went. We were not far from the hospital and we were still quite early so we decided to pop into Tesco’s to get a few bits. I still wanted to be quick in there although the one I care for was really taking his time, I asked him whether he was going to have a fit. We got over to the hospital and the story was the same, he was walking very slowly although now he was starting to look a bit vague. I booked myself in and he sat down and I kept looking over, he seemed like he was about to go. I told the lady that was booking me in the he was epileptic and I thought he was going to have a seizure. I was advised to get one of the nurses should he do so and by the time I got to him he was in the trance before the seizure. I had to warn a few people nearby that he was going to have a seizure and one lady helped by going over to get a nurse as I was over him, making sure he didn’t flip about too much. The nurse came and by which time he was starting to fit, the whole room was pretty full and everyone was watching. Myself and the nurse were protecting him, she was in front of his chair and I was behind him. After his seizure, it all went quiet then a couple of minutes later, he had another one, this time, a lot bigger so we had to hold onto him pretty tight. By the end of this one there were more nurses about and they had called for some doctor’s also. The nurses thought it was his appointment today but I had to explain I was the patient, it was a right old palaver. The next thing they couldn’t get him to come round so they had to get a hoist to get him onto a trolley and out of the waiting room. So his timing couldn’t have been better, the appointment I had been waiting for so long had been disrupted by one of his seizure’s. We then had to go off to a room around the back and I had to answer all the relevant questions the doctor’s were asking. I told the nurse’s again it was my appointment today and how long I had been waiting as I didn’t want to lose my slot. After some time, tests and questions the doctors decided to cart him off to A&E and I could have my appointment and then meet him after.
I had my appointment with the Neurologist and by this time my head was all over the place by what had happened. I managed to get through some of my list of symptoms but then he took me into a room to do some general Neurological tests. I didn’t get a chance to tell him the rest and he told me he wanted to stop a couple of the tablets I was taking. Both are very low doses and suggested that I go on this new one and suggested I had some CBT for the anxiety. I didn’t get the chance to ask him what his diagnoses was as I was quite blank from what had happened although he seemed to suggest a pain disorder and a nerve related issue. I have since looked up the tablets he want’s to put me on and they are linked to one of the possibilities I thought I had. I am not best happy about this either as there are some side effects from these tablets which are not the best. I have decided to order some natural stuff which a friend mentioned some time ago and see if this helps in the first place. As I have mentioned before, I have started to get a lot of anxiety relating to taking any kind of medicine and the truth is there are side effects. I have been going through this for the last for the last year and it has really taken its toll on me but I want to fight it at the same time.
I have been doing a lot of walking recently and I have been feeling better for that, it’s a shame I can’t use my cross trainer right now. The last time I used it, I woke up with such terrible back pain I was considering calling an ambulance. The walking has been good and if I get my strength back up and some good results then hopefully I can use the trainer again. I have bought a little trolley also for when I go shopping, which takes the weight of the shopping and the stress off my body. I like to walk to the supermarket rather than drive as its good exercise and now I have my little trolley it will allow me to continue…
Off my trolley
Busy Times
Well the last week has flown since I last came on to write, I have had just had quite a lot going on. Last week we finally ordered the TV and then decided we might as well get the front room painted for when it comes. So it was a case of getting all the painting gear collected, picking up some paint and a few other bits that were needed. On Friday the painting started and by Saturday evening it was all complete, just the big clear up to deal with afterwards. I have decided now maybe to paint the bedroom as well but maybe in a few days time, it’s nice when it looks all fresh and new.
On Friday I had my sisters wedding to go to so I was rushing around in the morning getting all the bits I needed to done. I came back, got myself all ready and even put a nice dress on for the occasion. I gave myself enough time to get there but unfortunately there had been a couple of crashes and the traffic was bad most of the way there. I was really panicking in the car as I never like to be late, let alone for the wedding! I just about made it in time and luckily they were running a little bit behind which gave me enough time to sit down and get my breath back. The wedding was wonderful and afterwards we went to the reception which was in a lovely little venue. I started taking pictures from the moment the wedding started and right throughout the whole day, I captured it all. We all had such a nice time and it was nice to catch up with the family as we don’t see each other that often. Also there were a few emotional moments during the day as there were a couple of people missing which got us all going. On the upside though I made a wonderful video from the pictures and have posted it for all to see and have had a great response.
So since Saturday evening I have been putting my flat back together, cleaning and also sticking the floor back together. Yesterday the TV came and I spent a fair bit of time setting it all up and it’s friggin awesome!!! I had my hospital appointment yesterday as well finally but I will write about that the next time. The one I care for had a couple of seizure’s whilst we were there and was admitted over night which I will also write about.
The sun is shining and have a busy day ahead, catch you soon peeps…
