Pains
Once again time has flown by and I haven’t come on for ages to come and talk about what’s been going on for me. I tried my best to get myself ready for Xmas and did all the present buying in advance. I really struggle with Xmas you see, so getting stuff done in advance is better for me rather than stressing at the last minute.
The fact that I am carer and have been looking after someone has been taking its toll on me also. As much as I try to help him he doesn’t want to help himself and it can be so draining.Obviously we spent time with one another over Christmas but I can’t say it was a bundle of laughs. The thing is he was meant to be away and me getting some respite, but low and behold he was back and so starts the hard work.
I have been waiting on my MRI scan results and in the mean time I have noticed all the symptoms which are ongoing. Just after Christmas I started getting a horrible pain in my stomach which wouldn’t go away. One day it would be worse than another but the thing was, it was always there and hurting and it stated to stress me out. I went to the hospital a couple of times and they palmed me off with painkillers, although my mind was never at rest. Last Sunday the pain had been there all day and I had enough if it so once again back to the hospital. I was explaining about the pain, where it was and how long I had it. In the end the doctor admitted me to the surgeon’s who told me they thought it was gallstones. Next I as told I was having a couple of tests and if that were the case then they would operate in a weeks time. The next day, I had the test and they also dosed up on Tramadaol (horrible things, felt like I was dying). Most of that day was a blur as I was in and out of sleep and pretty spaced out. The next morning my results came back and turns out it was clear so they have now put my name down for camera test to be done in a month. All this waiting and symptoms is all doing my head in a bit and I guess to be honest it’s really getting me down On top of the fact that I found out I was discharged from Neurology so been also chasing them up since I got out, arrrgggghhhh.
For a few days now, I started using my SAD light as my mood has been pretty low and I have been having panic attacks. I can say I feel a small difference but only time will tell. I am sitting in front of the light right now whilst typing this and will keep you posted if it really helps or not. Not sure what to do with my day yet as the once I care for went home last night. I know I should find something nice to do but deciding what is next on the agenda. I am sorry I take so long to come and write on here but from what I have written I am sure you understand my life and times have been tough.
Shopping
I was round my friends a couple of days ago and he was asking about my cats so I said to him why don’t you come over and see them and so he did. I brought my friend round and he stayed at mine for a couple of nights in the end and had lots of fun playing with the cats. This is the friend I talked about some time ago that had some troubles with his health with a very serious condition. The same friend that I went to visit at the Royal London Hospital and would also visit him at his place which isn’t too far. The only problem is he makes these noises with his mouth all the time and it kinda stresses me out so was glad to drop him off yesterday, lol. I know it’s mad but kinda got this phobia of those sort of noises or people who are noisy eater’s, etc…. I know I need hypnotherapy or something really as I feel like it makes my blood pressure go up and it’s bugged me for many years.
The last couple of days I have been rather a busy bee also, been getting myself organised for Christmas this year as I did last year. I managed to go online and buy nearly all of my Christmas shopping, I am just hoping that t comes on time because last year was a total nightmare. On the first day I got most of the big things, like the main presents and yesterday I got the smaller ones, the post man is going to be busy over the next couple of weeks, he he. 
Glad to have got it done though, one less thing to worry about, seen as I have had a lot on my mind lately……
I have my MRI scan this Sunday, yes Sunday, that’s a funny day for a scan but that’s when I am booked in and then another 2 week wait for the results. 
I haven’t been trembling so much the last few nights although I still have the dizzy spells and the patchy numbness so one way or another hopefully I will find something out. In the meantime however I have started to doing a bit of light exercise which has started to pick me up a bit. Earlier this year I noticed that when I had been doing strenuous exercise I was feeling quite ill afterwards, I am not sure if this linked to what is going on with me either.
On the up side mind you, I am going for a full body massage later this morning at my local beauty college and they do it at very discounted rates. I went last week just to have a back massage and it was really nice and relaxing so a full body and head is going to be great, can’t wait!! I will let you all know how it goes and promise to come on here and write a bit more often……..
Oh and one more thing, I would like to thank Lisa at
https://www.facebook.com/mentalhealthfoundation
for supporting my blog and posting links to my fan-page and blog. I have passed the 2000 hit count now and for this, I am very grateful and happy! 
Just a pretty sunrise
