Progress
Well the last few months it’s all been problems with my health one way or another and I still have most of the problems I have been suffering with. On the other hand though I have been keeping very busy and my depression is still much better at the moment. The page is flying right now and the amount of likes and share’s is just wonderful. I really look forward to coming on the page and doing my thing as the responses really keep me going. I have been doing a fair bit of exercise which also helps and getting out and about which occupies my time. I go to see my friend that had a bad illness last year as he live’s in an over 55′s flat and another friend is staying there at the moment. I am also lucky enough to have a roast cooked for me occasionally or something else that he is whipping up. The one I care for has been a bit ill with scarlet fever so I have also been busy looking after and tending to him. Luckily he got treated early but he really has been through it with sun-burnt type skin, a rash and then skin peel. Now he has some cream and it’s clearing up a lot better so hopefully it will be gone by the end of the week, poor thing. 
My cats are wonderful as usual, love them to bits and they make me happy and keep me on my toes. My friend had some kittens also, so I have been popping round there and giving her a hand when I can.
The exciting news is I have ordered some PD wristbands and I am just waiting their arrival, seems they will be here in a couple of days. Been lots of interest already and best of all I am putting the profits to a good cause. 
I want to start thinking of the future of this project and have a few idea’s in place but that’s all I can say for now… 
PS ~ I am loving the new blog format
Tough times
A month has passed since I have written here… sorry people been tough times! The one that I care for has not been doing so well, playing up, not taking his meds and having lots of seizure’s. I have been up and down the hospital like a yo-yo and trying my best although things don’t seem to change.
I was doing really well on the exercise front until a few weeks ago and then what with everything going on I just didn’t get the chance. I can already feel it in my body, the last week I have been feeling very tired and feel the depression is trying to creep in but trying to fight it off. I have been keeping busy and had so much to do, what with looking after him, looking after the kittens and keeping everything afloat.
I applied for a job a month or so ago but I haven’t heard back yet, I also enquired about another similar one yesterday so fingers crossed I will hear something back. Other than that still considering doing some restaurant work again as it will get me active and keep me on my toes for a while.
I bought some new skates this week and they arrived yesterday so I had a good go on them at my sister’s house. I went over to see my sister as it was my nephew’s birthday yesterday and spent most of the day there. I had a really nice time there and I didn’t end up leaving till almost 1am this morning so feeling slightly tired today.. he he. 
I want to try to do some exercise today as I know how much better I will feel for it, maybe another go on my new skates. Apart from that must remember to find a few minutes and come back here and write soon……………
Hurt
I have been so positive lately but then I have had a bad last 24 hours so thought I would write down how I was feeling. I just don’t understand how a person that you do so much for can hurt you so much? I have done nothing but help this person and when he gets angry he takes it out on me. You couldn’t even imagine the amount I have done for this person and have continued to do and for some reason he just can’t see it. My whole life revolves around him and even though I am his carer sometimes I wish he would just give me a break. All the time he keeps going on about things from the past and from times when he didn’t even know me. The truth is, its starting to grate on me and is bringing me down so matter if I have been feeling good I am now feeling sad.
It’s hard to deal with any of these kinds of things having this disorder let alone than to have it thrown in your face all the time. I have been strong for a while but decided to come home and get some time out. It’s hard work too as I have to pack up the cats, their stuff, my stuff and then carry it all up the stairs. So for tonight I feel sad but tomorrow is a new day and lets hope it’s a better one.
BPD Month
Hello all and thanks for reading, it’s BPD awareness month so time to celebrate that we are being recognised! Also time to celebrate the fact that I have had over 700 hits now, very happy as I only started writing in December!
I have been working hard on my new page and it’s starting to pay off, got over 50 fans that now like the page and people sharing on the wall, happy days. I have been researching a fair amount and seeing what’s going on out there for people with BPD. http://www.emergenceplus.org.uk/ is a great page, I did my PD training with those guys.
Life in general is quite good at the moment, I have stuck to working out again and it’s making me feel so much better. I have been keeping pretty busy looking after trouble and trying to fit my friend in who is in hospital. The kittens are keeping me busy also, the female has just been castrated so had to keep an eye on her. Mind you the younger one who is only five months is growing so much and is nearly as big as the older one now. Pets are really good for helping with depression and they give you unconditional love and they certainly keep you busy. First thing in the morning when I get up they are there waiting for you, I have to feed them and clean their tray out. The amount of pleasure and love that I have got from them is unbelievable and they have given me more of a sense of purpose.
Got to go out shortly to change some things so will be back again soon………….
The babies
Strange Happenings
Well it’s been a funny old week to be honest and lots of strange happenings, happening all around us as we speak. First there was the sighting of what seemed to be two suns in China, the earthquakes and now the fish. Millions of fish have washed up in both Australia and America, apparently oxygen starved and the water being too warm for them. I have been keeping an eye on the Global Earthquake map and they are happening all the time especially near Japan, America and Alaska. Without all that, there is the civil unrest in Libya which is ongoing and whether us and the Americans are going to go in and enforce a no fly zone, all a bit worrying!
I have been fair bit of reading the past week and watching a lot of videos and a lot of people think that Nibiru (planet x) is heading towards us and causing mayhem. I looked on Google sky last night and Sirius (the brightest star) as somehow been edited, is there something they don’t want us to see?? I have seen video footage of tanks being taken by train across the US and read stories of FEMA buying up a billion dollar’s of freeze-dried food, what are they expecting?? The moon is meant to be really close to our planet next week which is also meant to cause a lot of problems too. So it all sounds doom and gloom really but the thing is the evidence show’s that strange things are really happening at the moment.
I haven’t been feeling great in myself either, my back hurts a lot between my shoulder blades and sometimes still getting shoulder pain from what the doctor thinks is gall stone’s. I am finding it hard to train and I am meant to be running a 1/2 marathon soon but it’s not looking very likely at the moment. I have a scan next week to find out about the possible gall stone’s so then I guess I will know some more. Waiting for results as we all know can be a horrible and worrying time and I have had quite a few tests done recently!
On a happier note my kittens are getting on great, they both get on so well now and bring a smile to my face when I get up. I love watching them chase each other around and play fight, it’s just so funny. The pair of them are in Sync also which is funny, they eat at the same time, sleep, clean themselves and so on… the joy!
Oh and I seem to be getting lots more its all the time so I must keep coming on and writing…
Lucky
Well how tie has flown by, it’s been a busy week for me, have not even had a chance to come on and write. All weekend I was looking online to find a kitten, my kitten is 9 months and wanted to find a friend for her. The problem is so many people want kitten’s so if you’re not first in then they are normally taken. Plus I’m a bit picky and wanted to find the perfect kitten so that made it harder also. Still I kept persevering and eventually I found a little stunner on Tuesday morning. I sent a text immediately and asked if he was still available, said that I wanted him if so and the reply was good news. I carried on texting and asking questions until a blow came saying someone was coming to pick up the kitten later. I was pretty gutted as I was unable to call at the time so I politely replied saying I had said from the first text I wanted him. Not long after that I got a reply saying I was correct so I made a call and said I would come later to collect him. So in the evening, I drove over and collected my new bundle of joy and I am so happy that I did. The little one looks like the big one when she was little and has all the same trait’s, it’s great.
As my older one is female and the younger one is male I thought they would get on easier, however the first introduction there was a lot of hissing. Most of the hissing was from my older kitten and I was a little worried to begin with, although I spoke to my friend and she reminded me this is normal for the first few days. Luckily now they are getting on a lot better now 3 days on, chasing each other around the place, so happy days. We were trying to think of names for him too, we were going to call him magic although in the end I decided it didn’t sound right. The little one has a small white marking on his chest and we nearly lost him to somebody else so I we decided to call him Lucky.
So apart from all the stuff with the kitten’s, I am still sore due to my injury and I am going back to the Osteopath today for some more work. I really ache this morning as I went for a run yesterday so I am glad my appointment is today.
I have also been asked to take part in a talking from experience project s going for a meeting to talk about that in a couple of weeks. It’s a good way to educate young people about your own experience and try to dissuade them from making the same mistakes.
I went to see my psychiatrist this week, although it was a new one this time, I rather liked the old one to be honest. The problem is the SHO’s (who work under the psychiatrist’s) they rotate every 6 months so you end up with new one’s after a while. I told him how well I am doing and that I have stopped my medication and all was fine. It’s really nice to be free from the tunnel of darkness for once as that has been a reoccurring pattern in my life. I am thankful that I am busy enough not to think and worry about my problems as I did on the past and am looking forward nicely. I have been networking with lots of people that work in the BPD side of things too and I am hoping that something good will come out there also.
I need a haircut……… so I am going in the morning to get my hair cut and this time even shorter than before. It’s such a mess at the moment that I’m wearing hats all the time. I talked about pampering last weekend and didn’t do enough so maybe I can return to it this weekend.
