Shocking
Gosh it’s shocking that I haven’t been on here for soooooo long to come and write to you all and tell you what’s been happening. To be honest though I have been really busy, what with helping out at a little club local to me, being a carer and then having a bit of me time. Still the good thing is, the depression has been better the last few months which is a positive thing and helps with less hours of daylight. The one I care for has been looking after himself a bit more which means that I have been going over to visit him at home. Life is a lot easier now he is not under my feet all the time and I can get on and do things. Plus the drinking has stopped which is good news as that’s when more of the problems start as well. I have taken the cats over to him a couple of times also to stay for a while as I know he really cares about them and it’s company for him too.
My friend that I close with burned out and we only ended up being friends in the end, it was getting a little confusing so we didn’t speak for a while until things settled down. We are back being friends again and he is over for a visit shortly but only as friends which is cool for both of us. I have met someone else recently and we have got close but not so sure now as he doesn’t seem to want to put me first. It was all fun an excitement at the beginning but this week it’s just been let down after let down 
No doubt I am going to bump into him this evening but I need to put my foot down and let him know I am not a walk over. It’s a pity really as we get on so well but he has a friend that seems to get in the way all the time. It’s not my place to tell him not to see his friend but at the same time he should want to find the time to see and spend time with me. The other dampener is that he is off on holiday for a month at Christmas so that will be tough going if he stays for the duration. I am not sure he will manage it though as he is going with his silly friend who is a 100 miles an hour and might drive him round the bend! So guess only time will tell and this weekend I might find out what’s being going on as well.
I have done my Christmas shopping early again this year and I got some really good deals on line so now its just a case of wrapping. I need to warp them up soon mind you as I want to make sure I have bought enough for everyone and I haven’t missed anyone out.
I will try my best to come back on with an update as the last post was far too long ago. Missed you all and am thinking of you all…. <3
Morning
Well I woke up at the lovely time of 5am and woke up to a living room full of feathers, my lovely cats decided to bring me a present. So I had to get to the hoover out straight away and hoover up as there were feathers all over the floor. I am having my morning fresh coffee and thinking about what I am going to get up to today. I took one of my cats to my friends grooming parlour last week as she is long-haired and it helps to get her groomed and looking nice. I am considering taking the other one there today as he has never been although he is different to her. The other cat is short-haired although a groom would do him good as she gets out all the dead hairs. Plus he gets a bath but the problem is he is very timid and he might not even come back in time. The other cat is good with other people but my male cat is quite the opposite, he runs when strangers come in. I guess I am going to still do some deciding but if I am going to go then I need to take him early so any other animals don’t frighten him.
I have so much to tell you and in May I did so many posts but I have been so busy that I haven’t had so many chances to sit down and write to you all. The one I care for court case is finally over and guess what, he WON! Thanks to put input, the solicitor and barrister, the court decided in his favour which was a weight off my shoulders. It was not an easy case to win as in his borough there is a huge housing shortage and the odds were pretty much against him. The case was very long and the first day we were there from 9am to 6pm and it was soooo tiring. The good thing was had a lady judge who was compassionate and the other sides barrister was a bit of a witch and she could see and even stood up for the pair of us in fact on a number of occasions. The barrister brought him to tears at one point, tried to question my ability due to mental health issues and then manipulated him into saying something that was not even the truth. The good thing was the judge saw it and she also believed all of my evidence which was fact to the point where me telling the truth could have jeopodised him somewhat. But that is what I am all about, I tell the truth and that’s how I wanted to be on the day was truthful but guess she respected me for it. I had to tell the court that he had been staying with me for most of the last twelve months or longer and this was because the council had forced us to get rid of a lot of his stuff. Like I said it could have jeoppodused him as the case was about his property but luckily instead of me making up a story I told the truth. At the end when the judge did her submissions, she pointed out that everything I said had helped her make up a picture of what had happened. I am glad it is finally over now as I had been carrying the whole thing on my shoulders and was really tough if I’m honest. The one I care for has calmed down a bit now and has not been drinking as much, the fact he thought he was going to have to leave was impacting him differently. I have also let him stay at his place and been having time to myself which has really been a help for me also. I feel more free at the moment and that I can do the things that I need to do without having him here and just getting on with what I need to to. I have been going over to him on most days, taking his meds and buying him some of the bits that he needs. I am also speaking to him on the phone a couple of times a day also but the peace is very nice.
I have been having some trouble with my meds for some time, I hadn’t been taking a lot but through going through a rough patch for a while I started again. I was only taking a low dose of an anti-depressant and tried to see if it would help again, I tried for about 5 weeks and they did liven me up but they still weren’t right for me. So low and behold I came off of them and am going down the natural route now. I was also trying to come off my sleeping pills, I had been on them for the best part of 2 years and for about 6 months, I was only taking a small amount most nights but just couldn’t seem to get off them completely. Low and behold with a lot of persistance, I have now manage to stop them for a good few weeks now. I feel so much better, I am only taking vitamins now and the odd painkiller for when I get any pain or headaches which I do on occasion. I have been taking a mineral solution that a friend recommended to me and that seems to have helped me quite a lot also. I have more energy now, my head feels a lot more clear and I am just feeling generally better in myself which is something to smile about. I have been getting a lot done and I have been enjoying life more than I have done for while so things more of an improvement for me at the moment. I may have a couple of options for getting myself back into work also, I have wooed a couple of people and will wait to see the outcome. I was going to try and set up a social enterprise but I have now decided against it as I am fully aware of my triggers. Stress being one of them and setting something like that up with the unknown funding factor would not be the right thing for me So as much as it was a good idea, I am learning what is right and wrong for me these days. I am still going to continue doing all of this voluntarily as it’s a great help for me and I get a lot from it and I feel that it is helping others also. So onwards and upwards as the old saying goes and I will keep you posted of all my news….. 
PS – I still have a few wristbands left if anyone would like to get order then please see:
http://personalitydisordersupportnetwork.com/pdsn-wristbands/
Groomed kitty
Yawn
Oh dear, tired again, after going to sleep about 11:30pm last night I have been woken up again by just before 4am by one of my darling cats. Once I am awake I find it very hard to get back to sleep, so now I am up, I’ve had a banana, some cereal and a cup of fresh coffee. Just tried to lay down again but now I have a coffee, my mind is like bing… no chance of getting a nap at the moment so thought I may as well do a little post.
A couple of months ago the one I care for said he would buy me a new TV for Easter as he can be kind like that (sometimes) and I took some Xmas presents back too. To cut a long story short, I did a lot of shopping around and bought a TV but unfortunately it was a scam and the money was stolen. Through my own investigations I realised that the money was lost, reported it to the bank, cancelled the card, reported it to action fraud and then made copies for the bank. Eventually after about a month the money was returned but I didn’t realise until about a couple of weeks later. So for the last week I have been busy hunting down the TV I want but this time trying to find a reputable company and eventually I did. So I spent most of Monday and Tuesday on the computer scanning websites and finally yesterday, I found exactly what I wanted and it should be coming by Saturday! 
Such exciting stuff to be honest as I like my technology and this one is pretty awesome I must admit. Ha, that wasn’t such a short story after all…
Yes so this week, it’s been TV hunting mainly, I still have ache’s and pains most places but trying to put up with them or take good old-fashioned paracetamol. I had some acupuncture on Monday, a scan on Tuesday and finally on Monday I am seeing the Neurologist at the hospital. Those who have been following the blog will know that this is a long time coming as all these problems began in September / October last year and the wait has been never-ending. Still on the up side, I am apparently seeing the top man and hopefully he can help me to find out what is going on. I have a long list of al the problems that I have been suffering with to tell him about and hopefully he will arrange the appropriate tests. Sometime’s I just feel like I am falling apart but I just try to get on with things and do something else to distract myself to stop myself thinking. I mean it was only the weekend before last that I spent a whole weekend in hospital so I am just pleased to be at home coping. I missed my cats too much whilst I was in there, they mean so much to me and I could only use my phone to get on-line which isn’t quite the same as my super-duper laptop.
I am still getting messages most days from my old friend which certainly cheers me up, we have a lot of banter with the messages and have a good laugh also. I am still confused to be honest about what’s going on, I mean would a friend message me like nearly every day just to see how I am? Well I will be seeing him in a couple of weeks so maybe I will find out a bit more as I personally can’t work it all out. I am really enjoying all the messages and the banter but as they are so frequent I am getting a little bit attached. I have something to look forward to most days which make’s me smile and I have the hunch that the feeling is mutual. Guess I just don’t want to get hurt as I have been hurt so many times in the past. I am going to have to protect myself in some way, answers on a postcard please, lol.
Still getting orders for the last of the remaining Wristbands which means I can get the competition started shortly also…
Another pic from Kent
Home
Just got home this evening after an eventful few days in the hospital with not a lot being done! I am really pleased to home with my cats as I have really missed them. Now I am going to try and take it easy if at all possible as I have a fair amount to catch up with now that I’m home. I am going to write a bit more about my stay in hospital when I feel a bit more alive… But for the time being for those who are after wristbands I am opening the page again for now… http://personalitydisordersupportnetwork.com/pdsn-wristbands/
Long Weekend
Well what can I say, what a horrible weekend that was! Not like me to talk like that but I was in so much pain it was unreal which in turn was triggering my worries and anxiety. I visited the out of hours doctors who were pretty useless and only really got somewhere by today. My TMJ (jaw) joint had been playing up and it felt like someone had their hands around my head and crushing it, it was awful. After that I started to get pain in my groin area which was also extremely painful and the whole time I just could not relax. When I took either Ibuprofen or Co-codamol it just would make me go numb later or give me pins and needles, not nice. I am not supposed to take Ibuprofen anyway as I suffer with a lot of acid and it isn’t that good for your stomach either. So basically I was in pain, my muscles have been going into spasm and I felt pretty rubbish. Yesterday I visited the hospital and finally got something to help me relax and things have started to improve. Because I have been in a lot of pain recently I finally gave in to taking another tablet that I was on many years ago. Started it on Friday and actually starting to feel a bit better today and I am only going to take a very low dose. I even have anxiety about what tablets I take and what the side effects are and so on and so on.
On a better note after I got something to help me relax and had a sleep I was able to make it to the football game I spoke about. I said to the one I care for, “look I will try to take you there but if I don’t feel good or am in pain then we will have to come home”. Well we managed it and it was awesome, we had a front row seat and we stayed seated nearly all the time which also helped. Our seat was so much better this time as we were close to the half way line and we had a brilliant view. What a game it was, we won 3-0 and out team will on our way to Wembley for the final in a couple of weeks! I even ordered a couple of hats today as well, get me, someone that never really liked football before, becoming a fan.
Wristband orders are still coming through and there is only about a third left now so it’s all going great. Everyone has been posting messages about how happy they are or that they are wearing them and posting pics, it’s a real achievement. I guess I should be really proud, need to learn how to pat myself on the back as I am not very good at that…
I went to the doctors this morning and he actually seemed to know what was wrong, I had trouble with my pelvic bone which could be from my back pain. I have got some more tablets should the pain flare up bad again and also a referral to a specialist in July. Oh and I forgot to mention I had a bladder infection so no wonder I felt so rubbish.
So today I am finally starting to feel a bit brighter, I am not in so much pain, I have a couple of answers and my tablets have perked me up a little. Onwards and upwards for this week as everyone has been so supportive and I need to stay with that thought.
Good Times
Wow, what a week it has been, from the minute the wristbands went live, I haven’t stopped, they are have been flying out like no tomorrow. I haven’t stopped, if have been either working on the computer / page, taking orders, printing, sticking, stamping, packing and sending, lol. I have been up and down to post office’s getting all the items sent and before I know it is start’s again, it’s been great. Half of the bands have now sold which was faster than I thought so now it’s a case of getting the other half sold then I can work out the donations. I have been wondering whether to get some PDSN bookmarks the next time as there will be less hassle with the posting should I decide to do it again. The problem is; Royal Mail’s daft 5mm depth rule, it could at least be 12mm then it would have made life a bit easier, he he. Here is the link to the Wristbands as many have been asking, you can find them on this page here: http://personalitydisordersupportnetwork.com/pdsn-wristbands/
Last night we went for a meal at the training college, haven’t been there for ages and it’s good to support what they do and also get some amazing discounted food. The theme of the meal was Alice In Wonderland and there was a big table set up like a tea party and we all sat round the edges. All three courses were yummy I have to admit and I needed to go to bed not long after we came home as I had eaten so much and I was very worn out.
I got some more tickets for the football next week too, as I am a carer we also get those discounted and the one I look after is an avid fan so going to look forward to that. The first game I went to we won 6-0 so hopefully we will have a good win again when we when go this time too. I am not really into football either but going to a live game and watching it, is a whole new thing and the buzz is great!
Time to get some more Wristbands ready for posting now…
Oh and PDSN is getting some great ranking on Google, page one and two, woo-hoo!
Thank You!
Wow what an amazing day yesterday was, it was the first day of BPD awareness month and got an amazing response for the PDSN wristbands. The thing is I hadn’t planned the wristbands for that reason in fact, that was just destiny I guess although the 1st of May was an incentive to then get it done. I was having some problems with Royal Mail’s new pricing structure so I needed to be fair and make sure I got all the posting prices correct until the bands went live. The next problem was getting the payment page to look right, I was having some problems with the text and the photo’s and spent many hours tweaking it, getting it right. Got there in the end, after nearly pulling my hair out, lol, I have a little OCD too so needed it to look good and say what it needed to.
Literally 2 minutes after posting the buying link the orders started coming, I couldn’t believe it and it carried on right until the time that I went to bed. My printing labels wouldn’t work so it meant a little more work printing onto paper and using tape and I had to fill and stamp all the envelopes also. Mind you when we suffer with something like this, there is nothing better than something to keep you occupied and what a great reason also!
So I have my first bag of PDSN merchandise ready to take down to the post office this morning to add the extra postage onto and send out to all the lovely people. Once all the money has been calculated I will be able to reveal more about what will be happening with the profits made from the sale. I made the wristbands slightly cheaper than my original prices so they were more reasonable and also worked out a special offer too. Having said that, there is still going to be money left over which I will be putting to a great cause once I have done all my calculations.
So yes it’s a MASSIVE thank you to everyone that has supported this and also to ALL who are supporting my page’s. I am honoured that people have taken on board what I am trying to do and this will give me the strength to CARRY ON! ♥
PDSN Goes Live!
Well today I am taking this project to the next level and I am now the proud owner of the PDSN domain. It’s all very exciting and the bundle I got includes lots of extra features to enhance what I will be able to do. I am really enjoying doing this work on the pages and it keeps me busy and in turn is looking after my mind at the same time. It’s been a great week, lots of good things including a post from http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/ which in turn got us lots of hits, thank you LG.
The wristbands are almost here, I have been tracking them and they are very close now and looks like they will be arriving tomorrow. Fingers crossed as many of the lovely PDSN fans have been asking about them on the page and of course getting the chance to see how they came out. 
I had some rubbish news from the doctor yesterday but not going to talk about that right now as nothing is confirmed anyway. I want to stay on this positive buzz for now as that is just how I am feeling…
Progress
Well the last few months it’s all been problems with my health one way or another and I still have most of the problems I have been suffering with. On the other hand though I have been keeping very busy and my depression is still much better at the moment. The page is flying right now and the amount of likes and share’s is just wonderful. I really look forward to coming on the page and doing my thing as the responses really keep me going. I have been doing a fair bit of exercise which also helps and getting out and about which occupies my time. I go to see my friend that had a bad illness last year as he live’s in an over 55′s flat and another friend is staying there at the moment. I am also lucky enough to have a roast cooked for me occasionally or something else that he is whipping up. The one I care for has been a bit ill with scarlet fever so I have also been busy looking after and tending to him. Luckily he got treated early but he really has been through it with sun-burnt type skin, a rash and then skin peel. Now he has some cream and it’s clearing up a lot better so hopefully it will be gone by the end of the week, poor thing.
My cats are wonderful as usual, love them to bits and they make me happy and keep me on my toes. My friend had some kittens also, so I have been popping round there and giving her a hand when I can.
The exciting news is I have ordered some PD wristbands and I am just waiting their arrival, seems they will be here in a couple of days. Been lots of interest already and best of all I am putting the profits to a good cause. I want to start thinking of the future of this project and have a few idea’s in place but that’s all I can say for now…
PS ~ I am loving the new blog format
Newsflash
I have just ordered the first PDSN merchandise which will be WRISTBANDS for sale with all the profit going to a PD related cause. More details to follow soon
•.¸☆ ★ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
Will look a little something like this:
