Today has been a good day for me and I have realised a lot of positive things. I went to see my councillor this morning and we talked a lot about my life and how things are moving. I mean a few weeks ago I was really feeling down and pretty hopeless, now I am feeling much more positive. Somehow I am learning to use all the tools that I got from my therapy and something stops me going back to my old behaviours. I mean if things got hard, the depression was coming then I had an old and unhealthy way of coping. The last few months in general haven’t exactly been easy for me but one thing I have done is fight. For any sufferer reading this then you will know how hard it is but if you put your mind to it you can actually change your ways, there is hope.
I have been working hard on my new page and it’s already paying off, with some influential people joining also. I am hoping to build on the page and it will be a place for people to come, join, support and share. I like focussing on my pages as it keeps me busy and I am doing something positive. I have posted lots of my own pictures on the page and have mastered the art of Facebook, until they change it again, lol.
My legs were still sore today from my workout but hoping to do another in the morning. I have been suffering a bit of anxiety recently so I know that any exercise will help. I have had so many panic attacks over the years that I am learning to manage them too. I actually able to see a future in my life rather than a hole that is swallowing me up with no hope. When I have a craving for a drink in the evening then I just choose to make and hot chocolate instead. I think about all the things I will be able to get done the next day rather than not being able to get up.
I have been a Dj and have played all round the world but that doesn’t really bother me now, I am happy for the simple life. Plus too many fake people out there talking rubbish and making promises they can’t keep. Being a PD sufferer, we are very sensitive so it’s good to have some stability in your life rather than let downs and carnage.
I am starting to feel more comfortable about myself and my life and take each day as it comes. I am still a bit of a stress head, lol, but who wouldn’t be a carer and having a two people’s live’s to run. I am trying to keep as busy as I can so my mind doesn’t go into over drive or thinking of things that will only bring me down. As I said earlier I am looking at working out more which will make my mind more clear. On that note need to get some rest so I don’t have an excuse not to do it in the morning, he he.