Grey and cold
I cannot believe that we are in the middle of March and it’s so grey and cold, really doesn’t help us sufferers feel any better at all 
I just feel like hibernating and waking up when it’s warm again as even my feet are so cold all the time.
I have had a pretty quiet week, my ribs were hurting so I haven’t been able to go on the cross trainer and it’s been too cold and miserable to even feel like going for a walk. I sold my old laptop last night, well it wasn’t that old but I have upgraded to a newer faster one so that one needed to go towards the cost. I had to send it to Northern Ireland mind you so I hope there isn’t any problems otherwise it could work out quite expensive. I hope the guy is happy with it as it’s been well looked after and I have restored it back to all its original settings. I still have an old desktop to sell and a couple of mobile phones, so fingers crossed that they all get on their way as well. I quite enjoy selling things on-line, is fun and keeps you occupied and I also like buying as well, he he… My other new bargain of a computer has gone off for repair and waiting to see if they fix it or even better replace it (wishing thinking)… Still I should know next week what the news is and I am hoping to have it back by Wednesday so I can play with again without it crashing this time.
I have something exciting happening on Sunday but don’t want to say anything in case it doesn’t work out, I am hoping it works out for the good mind. If it does come off then I will however be coming here to write and tell you. I have been a bit lame for a while and was busy doing other things or being depressed and didn’t write here for some time. It’s hard when you don’t feel good to get any motivation to do the smallest things although it’s a therapeutic thing which is what I need to remind myself :-/
Yesterday I was over at the person I look after’s place, he is fine and so are my babies, my two cats I mean. I took them over to him before as he likes to spend time with them also and it;s good for him. Plus there’s a chance he may be going away for some time to get some help with his problems and I know how much he misses them. Things haven’t been too bad with him this week and he hasn’t been kicking off as much which means I can relax a bit more. I had to send a letter of to say I’m his carer due to the new bedroom tax thing, can’t believe what this government is doing. The fact that all on benefits now have to contribute towards their council tax also is going to push people into worse poverty. It’s such a shame as it really seems that all this government are doing is making things harder for the poorest people. The thing that I have been thinking is that it’s actually going to cost them more money as most people may not be able to afford it or keep up their payments and the cost of taking people to court is going to cost more than they are saving. I wonder if anyone has thought about that??
Next Sunday I am seeing the family for one of my sister’s birthday and also to celebrate Easter, I am looking forward to that. I must remember to go to the shops and get her a present and also for my Dad’s wife as I missed her birthday in January.
Still I have just looked at the weather for the weekend and it’s going to be cold, wet and doom and gloom. Don’t think I will be doing anything that exciting by the looks of things but hopefully something productive indoors instead. Anyway people, be safe, stay happy and for gawds sake keep warm…………. 
x
Getting There
I didn’t have the greatest day yesterday, in fact it was going really well until I went out. I needed to go out and buy some presents for my family which I mentioned in my last post. I decided to go shopping in the morning, got some great pressie’s and even a couple of treats for myself and was just about to get a sandwich. I drove across the retail park and a woman was pulling out and seemed to be looking the wrong way. The next thing I did was try to swerve out-of-the-way and low and behold, crash she still managed to hit the back of my car! I got out and shouted, I swerved and you still hit me, then calmed down and went and picked up her number plate which had fallen off into the road. The lady was actually very sorry and once I had my shout at her I had calmed down already. Had to spend 30 minutes, exchanging details and stuff and then I finally went to get my sandwich. My car isn’t that bad to be honest, just a scrape at the back that will need repairing, it’s more the inconvenience.
I went over to see my friend after as I was taking him to an appeal hearing, was hoping for some good news for him. We went there, sat and waited and then went into the hearing. After spending over an hour there, his appeal was rejected which was a real shame for him. I felt let down too as I thought he was going to get a better turnout as he has a very serious illness now but they didn’t see it that way. So that was blow number 2 for the day, still we had a nice curry to make up for it. 
Later in the evening on my way home I called the one I care for as he had been calling me and had been at home since the night before. I knew he had been drinking by the tone of his voice and he said he wanted to come round. I just wanted peace to be honest and told him to stay at home because he had been drinking. I got a whole lot of verbal from him and he was saying he wanted to come and get some of his things. It’s just an excuse to come round, he forgets due to his memory loss that this is one of his repeated behaviours. So no quiet night for me, he came round and I just left him to it.
Yesterday it was match day, so I popped out for a couple of hours and then came back to get the live stream up on the computer. I had a great time watching the game and in the 88th minute we scored the winning goal to get us back in the Premiership, get in!! I was very happy with the outcome and that certainly cheered me up for the evening. I just chilled out for the evening in my bedroom on my laptop and watching TV. The one I care for is getting on my nerves a bit at the moment, what with his repetitive behaviours so I left him in the living room watching football.
Got woken up this morning at 5am by one of my cats, little sod but have to say I still love her to bits. In fact she is laying right beside me now after being out for a bit and then having some food. Not sure what I am going to get up to yet today but know that I am going to get out and about. A friend is cooking a roast and I have been invited which is great as I don’t need to do any cooking then for the day. I am normally able to bring plate home which I can give to him, hence not cooking.
Still getting nice message’s from my old friend, I am a little confused to be honest as I am enjoying the messages but not so sure what it’s all about. It’s hard to explain but I keep thinking and although I am enjoying it, I don’t want to be set up to get hurt. Think we need to have a chat at some point to find out the intentions so I can work out which way to go about it……
And hey don’t forget the PDSN wristbands before the competition starts…
http://personalitydisordersupportnetwork.com/pdsn-wristbands/
Coffee
I bought a new espresso / cappuccino maker just before Christmas and oh lord what a saviour it is! I love my coffee and it means I can make coffee shop style coffee in a matter of minutes, yum yum
Well, I made it for my run this morning, 86 minutes, not bad considering I had a bit of time off. I feel good although my knee was hurting a bit so had to give up there but I think that was enough anyway. I feel much better for doing it and know I will be soon back up to 98 minutes or more. I feel better already and I am looking forward to the part when all the weight starts falling off, he he.
I spent more time today working on my new picture show that I have been doing for my volunteer work. I am really happy with it and I am trying to send it to my supervisor so she can have a look, I am sure she will love it too. I also thought of an idea when I was out running today so sent a letter of and know who’s I may get a reply, will keep it at that for now as if it works out then I will tell more.
Grumpy has gone off to his place today, however I asked him to go as he was being mean again, got to put my foot down otherwise he tries to walk all over me. No doubt he will be back later but had a nice bit of peace, doing my work and not being asked questions or being annoyed at the same time.
Tomorrow is rest day from running so will probably do some more cleaning, it’s nice to clean the place for the New Year. Apart from that there’s a running jacket I’m after so might pop to the shops to see if they still have them. Other than that a nice relaxed evening ahead of me, healthy food and maybe some more coffee
No pain no gain
Well there I went again, off for a run at 06:45 yesterday morning and I managed another 98 minute run. My feet are pretty sore now and I had a blister on the side of my foot which I couldn’t help but burst. Once again this morning my body is aching however the fact that I’m feeling better than I did only a week ago is great. In fact I was flat as a pancake then, where as now I am getting more little burst’s of energy which is really cool. So the question is now whether I am going to run or workout tomorrow, it’s Christmas Eve and I may still be aching. Guess I will have to see how I feel tomorrow and make the decision then, the main thing is I’m getting more focussed. I am lo0king forward to the part when I start to lose pounds, mind you my pyjama’s feel a bit looser so that’s a start
I need to venture out to the shops shortly as I need a few things, with it being 2 days till Christmas I am sure it is going to be chaos. The thing is I remembered I wanted to get some shocking presents for him so that and a few other bits means I would rather get it done today. We didn’t have a great start to yesterday as he was in a bad mood, for some reason he thinks I’m doing something wrong when I’m on the computer. The thing is I am normally doing my volunteer stuff on line, researching, checking mail or writing this and that’s it! So yes I got an ear bashing in the morning which I took out during my run and then we had a few words later. I had to remind him that it’s a few days till Christmas and didn’t want to be miserable. I even said he could open one of his presents if it meant that he was going to behave. I mean sometimes I need to treat him like a child to get the outcome that I need and a lot of time he behave’s like one. I mean I can’t blame him entirely as he has epilepsy and whenever he has a fit, it literally wipes out thousand’s of brain cell’s and trust me has had quite a few! On a positive note however we have lot’s of presents for each other which is something to look forward to and I have one very special one for him. I know he’s not going to believe it when he open’s it although I am going to make a little treasure hunt before hand as it’s the best present. I have written down all the clues and just need 10 minutes to hide them around the flat on Christmas morning and maybe put my Elf outfit on, ha ha!
So yes the most exciting thing is it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow and I can put my new pyjama’s on in the evening. It’s a bit of an old family tradition and we all used to get new nighties and slippers to wear for Christmas. Mum would wrap them up for us and it was like a little early Christmas present for us so I have stuck to this tradition this year in memory of my Mum. xx
