Well it’s that time again and it really has come round fast, last year I was getting ready with the purple wristbands and this year I have the new tri-colour ones. Since the post yesterday I have had some orders come in so have been busy getting them ready to send out later today. I am hoping to get up to the 50% mark soon so I can make a donation and up to 100% when I can make another…
Time seems to have flown recently, a minute ago it was Christmas, Jan & Feb I felt rubbish and life was not good, however I am feeling much better now thankfully. I have been walking about 20 miles a week and I find that it’s really helping and now the weather is getting better, even better. I have also been eating lots of healthy food, lots of fruit and veg and staying away from take away’s and so on, my body feels rejuvenated. The last few weeks I have been somewhat busy looking after my friend that I care for. My cats have been staying with him and I have also as I wanted to keep an eye on him. Still he’s doing much better than he has been and things are getting a little easier.
I have been working on some computers also, the bargain that I got a while came back although it had to be sent away the first time it came back again. Still I eventually got it back and sadly it was not quite the spec I needed so I just renewed and have got it ready to sell, just need to sell it now, the ads I’ve posted are getting some views. I managed to get another bargain to replace this one and am currently waiting in today for its arrival. It’s actually a really good spec and just what I need so just hope it’s in good condition as the pictures were not too clear and it’s not brand new.
I had a bit of stress a couple of days ago, one of my cats was a bit unwell so I had to take her to the vets and they kept her in over-night for observation. Still she seems ok now and seems to be doing really well so I can sigh a great relief. I love my cats so much and they have helped me immensely, I just love having them around. At night both of them tend to sleep on the bed with me, one next to me and the other at the bottom of the bed, so cute! I never used to let them sleep there for a while due to my allergies although they seem to have somewhat calmed down or I am getting used to them. All good news either way and like I said, it’s just great to have them, they are my family.
The bank holiday is coming up and due to the nice weather lots are getting excited, I so far have no real plans as yet but no doubt I will get out and do some walking. I hope you all manage to stay safe during the bank holiday and also get to do some nice things… I’m outa here for now but will be back to chat some more soon…..
Oh and here’s a pic of my lovely girl!
I cannot believe that we are in the middle of March and it’s so grey and cold, really doesn’t help us sufferers feel any better at all I just feel like hibernating and waking up when it’s warm again as even my feet are so cold all the time.
I have had a pretty quiet week, my ribs were hurting so I haven’t been able to go on the cross trainer and it’s been too cold and miserable to even feel like going for a walk. I sold my old laptop last night, well it wasn’t that old but I have upgraded to a newer faster one so that one needed to go towards the cost. I had to send it to Northern Ireland mind you so I hope there isn’t any problems otherwise it could work out quite expensive. I hope the guy is happy with it as it’s been well looked after and I have restored it back to all its original settings. I still have an old desktop to sell and a couple of mobile phones, so fingers crossed that they all get on their way as well. I quite enjoy selling things on-line, is fun and keeps you occupied and I also like buying as well, he he… My other new bargain of a computer has gone off for repair and waiting to see if they fix it or even better replace it (wishing thinking)… Still I should know next week what the news is and I am hoping to have it back by Wednesday so I can play with again without it crashing this time.
I have something exciting happening on Sunday but don’t want to say anything in case it doesn’t work out, I am hoping it works out for the good mind. If it does come off then I will however be coming here to write and tell you. I have been a bit lame for a while and was busy doing other things or being depressed and didn’t write here for some time. It’s hard when you don’t feel good to get any motivation to do the smallest things although it’s a therapeutic thing which is what I need to remind myself :-/
Yesterday I was over at the person I look after’s place, he is fine and so are my babies, my two cats I mean. I took them over to him before as he likes to spend time with them also and it;s good for him. Plus there’s a chance he may be going away for some time to get some help with his problems and I know how much he misses them. Things haven’t been too bad with him this week and he hasn’t been kicking off as much which means I can relax a bit more. I had to send a letter of to say I’m his carer due to the new bedroom tax thing, can’t believe what this government is doing. The fact that all on benefits now have to contribute towards their council tax also is going to push people into worse poverty. It’s such a shame as it really seems that all this government are doing is making things harder for the poorest people. The thing that I have been thinking is that it’s actually going to cost them more money as most people may not be able to afford it or keep up their payments and the cost of taking people to court is going to cost more than they are saving. I wonder if anyone has thought about that??
Next Sunday I am seeing the family for one of my sister’s birthday and also to celebrate Easter, I am looking forward to that. I must remember to go to the shops and get her a present and also for my Dad’s wife as I missed her birthday in January.
Still I have just looked at the weather for the weekend and it’s going to be cold, wet and doom and gloom. Don’t think I will be doing anything that exciting by the looks of things but hopefully something productive indoors instead. Anyway people, be safe, stay happy and for gawds sake keep warm…………. x
I have been having quite a lot of aches and pains for a while now, not joint pain but my actual bones. Most things click and when I wake up in the morning I am sore and as I get up a lot of things click. I think it’s time to discuss this with the doctor as it’s actually rather painful. In fact my back has been bad and silly me, I let my older, heavier sister offer to walk on my back and now I think I may have cracked a rib. I am in a lot of pain in that area so I think I may need to get that check out also
I have been busy the last few days working on some computers, fixing them up and getting them ready to sell. I have upgraded my things and I am a bit of a minimalist so would rather make the space. I also bought a bargain of a computer online and have been trying to fix that, however that one failed me as the hard drive is knackered. Mind you I did some good detective work yesterday after realising there was possibly still a warranty on there. I spoke to Acer then I took a gamble of ringing the business it previously belonged to and jackpot I spoke to the lady who was dealing with it. In fact I got all the details I would need to get the warranty swapped over and today it’s being picked up for repair so, so far so good. Just need to see what happens whilst it’s away as apparently it’s had the same fault previously…
I have been using my cross trainer whenever possible to burn a few pounds and also help me to feel better. After using it yesterday mind you my ribs have flared up again so doubt I will be able to use it today. I am also being a bit more sensible with it too as when I push myself too hard I don’t feel too well after so 45-55 minutes is an ample amount.
The wristbands have been going well, so far about 25 % of them have gone so once I reach 50 % I will be able to give a donation out. So hoping to get some more orders in but not in a mad rush as I am a bit sore and it will happen when it happens.
My cats are over at the person I care for’s flat which is nice for him as he looks after them very well and he also has a garden. I spent a couple of days over there last week but he is still very up and down to be honest. One day he is nice as pie and the next he can be blaming me for everything but I am used to it now. I was thinking of renting my flat out and staying with him but to save up some money but it’s not such a good idea as he can be unpredictable sometimes. I would like to move although in these difficult times I can’t find what I want within my budget so far so I am stuck here for now.
I have pulled away from the place near me that I was helping out, there was never going to be a job and they haven’t been that nice either. I was having some problems there and since I don’t go there so much I don’t feel as stressed as almost a weights come off so can’t be too bad, think they were zapping my energy, lol. So all in all apart from being sore, life isn’t too bad at the moment, the sun is finally starting to show its face which is nice…
Gosh it’s shocking that I haven’t been on here for soooooo long to come and write to you all and tell you what’s been happening. To be honest though I have been really busy, what with helping out at a little club local to me, being a carer and then having a bit of me time. Still the good thing is, the depression has been better the last few months which is a positive thing and helps with less hours of daylight. The one I care for has been looking after himself a bit more which means that I have been going over to visit him at home. Life is a lot easier now he is not under my feet all the time and I can get on and do things. Plus the drinking has stopped which is good news as that’s when more of the problems start as well. I have taken the cats over to him a couple of times also to stay for a while as I know he really cares about them and it’s company for him too.
My friend that I close with burned out and we only ended up being friends in the end, it was getting a little confusing so we didn’t speak for a while until things settled down. We are back being friends again and he is over for a visit shortly but only as friends which is cool for both of us. I have met someone else recently and we have got close but not so sure now as he doesn’t seem to want to put me first. It was all fun an excitement at the beginning but this week it’s just been let down after let down No doubt I am going to bump into him this evening but I need to put my foot down and let him know I am not a walk over. It’s a pity really as we get on so well but he has a friend that seems to get in the way all the time. It’s not my place to tell him not to see his friend but at the same time he should want to find the time to see and spend time with me. The other dampener is that he is off on holiday for a month at Christmas so that will be tough going if he stays for the duration. I am not sure he will manage it though as he is going with his silly friend who is a 100 miles an hour and might drive him round the bend! So guess only time will tell and this weekend I might find out what’s being going on as well.
I have done my Christmas shopping early again this year and I got some really good deals on line so now its just a case of wrapping. I need to warp them up soon mind you as I want to make sure I have bought enough for everyone and I haven’t missed anyone out.
I will try my best to come back on with an update as the last post was far too long ago. Missed you all and am thinking of you all…. <3
Well I woke up at the lovely time of 5am and woke up to a living room full of feathers, my lovely cats decided to bring me a present. So I had to get to the hoover out straight away and hoover up as there were feathers all over the floor. I am having my morning fresh coffee and thinking about what I am going to get up to today. I took one of my cats to my friends grooming parlour last week as she is long-haired and it helps to get her groomed and looking nice. I am considering taking the other one there today as he has never been although he is different to her. The other cat is short-haired although a groom would do him good as she gets out all the dead hairs. Plus he gets a bath but the problem is he is very timid and he might not even come back in time. The other cat is good with other people but my male cat is quite the opposite, he runs when strangers come in. I guess I am going to still do some deciding but if I am going to go then I need to take him early so any other animals don’t frighten him.
I have so much to tell you and in May I did so many posts but I have been so busy that I haven’t had so many chances to sit down and write to you all. The one I care for court case is finally over and guess what, he WON! Thanks to put input, the solicitor and barrister, the court decided in his favour which was a weight off my shoulders. It was not an easy case to win as in his borough there is a huge housing shortage and the odds were pretty much against him. The case was very long and the first day we were there from 9am to 6pm and it was soooo tiring. The good thing was had a lady judge who was compassionate and the other sides barrister was a bit of a witch and she could see and even stood up for the pair of us in fact on a number of occasions. The barrister brought him to tears at one point, tried to question my ability due to mental health issues and then manipulated him into saying something that was not even the truth. The good thing was the judge saw it and she also believed all of my evidence which was fact to the point where me telling the truth could have jeopodised him somewhat. But that is what I am all about, I tell the truth and that’s how I wanted to be on the day was truthful but guess she respected me for it. I had to tell the court that he had been staying with me for most of the last twelve months or longer and this was because the council had forced us to get rid of a lot of his stuff. Like I said it could have jeoppodused him as the case was about his property but luckily instead of me making up a story I told the truth. At the end when the judge did her submissions, she pointed out that everything I said had helped her make up a picture of what had happened. I am glad it is finally over now as I had been carrying the whole thing on my shoulders and was really tough if I’m honest. The one I care for has calmed down a bit now and has not been drinking as much, the fact he thought he was going to have to leave was impacting him differently. I have also let him stay at his place and been having time to myself which has really been a help for me also. I feel more free at the moment and that I can do the things that I need to do without having him here and just getting on with what I need to to. I have been going over to him on most days, taking his meds and buying him some of the bits that he needs. I am also speaking to him on the phone a couple of times a day also but the peace is very nice.
I have been having some trouble with my meds for some time, I hadn’t been taking a lot but through going through a rough patch for a while I started again. I was only taking a low dose of an anti-depressant and tried to see if it would help again, I tried for about 5 weeks and they did liven me up but they still weren’t right for me. So low and behold I came off of them and am going down the natural route now. I was also trying to come off my sleeping pills, I had been on them for the best part of 2 years and for about 6 months, I was only taking a small amount most nights but just couldn’t seem to get off them completely. Low and behold with a lot of persistance, I have now manage to stop them for a good few weeks now. I feel so much better, I am only taking vitamins now and the odd painkiller for when I get any pain or headaches which I do on occasion. I have been taking a mineral solution that a friend recommended to me and that seems to have helped me quite a lot also. I have more energy now, my head feels a lot more clear and I am just feeling generally better in myself which is something to smile about. I have been getting a lot done and I have been enjoying life more than I have done for while so things more of an improvement for me at the moment. I may have a couple of options for getting myself back into work also, I have wooed a couple of people and will wait to see the outcome. I was going to try and set up a social enterprise but I have now decided against it as I am fully aware of my triggers. Stress being one of them and setting something like that up with the unknown funding factor would not be the right thing for me So as much as it was a good idea, I am learning what is right and wrong for me these days. I am still going to continue doing all of this voluntarily as it’s a great help for me and I get a lot from it and I feel that it is helping others also. So onwards and upwards as the old saying goes and I will keep you posted of all my news…..
PS – I still have a few wristbands left if anyone would like to get order then please see:
Oh dear, tired again, after going to sleep about 11:30pm last night I have been woken up again by just before 4am by one of my darling cats. Once I am awake I find it very hard to get back to sleep, so now I am up, I’ve had a banana, some cereal and a cup of fresh coffee. Just tried to lay down again but now I have a coffee, my mind is like bing… no chance of getting a nap at the moment so thought I may as well do a little post.
A couple of months ago the one I care for said he would buy me a new TV for Easter as he can be kind like that (sometimes) and I took some Xmas presents back too. To cut a long story short, I did a lot of shopping around and bought a TV but unfortunately it was a scam and the money was stolen. Through my own investigations I realised that the money was lost, reported it to the bank, cancelled the card, reported it to action fraud and then made copies for the bank. Eventually after about a month the money was returned but I didn’t realise until about a couple of weeks later. So for the last week I have been busy hunting down the TV I want but this time trying to find a reputable company and eventually I did. So I spent most of Monday and Tuesday on the computer scanning websites and finally yesterday, I found exactly what I wanted and it should be coming by Saturday! Such exciting stuff to be honest as I like my technology and this one is pretty awesome I must admit. Ha, that wasn’t such a short story after all…
Yes so this week, it’s been TV hunting mainly, I still have ache’s and pains most places but trying to put up with them or take good old-fashioned paracetamol. I had some acupuncture on Monday, a scan on Tuesday and finally on Monday I am seeing the Neurologist at the hospital. Those who have been following the blog will know that this is a long time coming as all these problems began in September / October last year and the wait has been never-ending. Still on the up side, I am apparently seeing the top man and hopefully he can help me to find out what is going on. I have a long list of al the problems that I have been suffering with to tell him about and hopefully he will arrange the appropriate tests. Sometime’s I just feel like I am falling apart but I just try to get on with things and do something else to distract myself to stop myself thinking. I mean it was only the weekend before last that I spent a whole weekend in hospital so I am just pleased to be at home coping. I missed my cats too much whilst I was in there, they mean so much to me and I could only use my phone to get on-line which isn’t quite the same as my super-duper laptop.
I am still getting messages most days from my old friend which certainly cheers me up, we have a lot of banter with the messages and have a good laugh also. I am still confused to be honest about what’s going on, I mean would a friend message me like nearly every day just to see how I am? Well I will be seeing him in a couple of weeks so maybe I will find out a bit more as I personally can’t work it all out. I am really enjoying all the messages and the banter but as they are so frequent I am getting a little bit attached. I have something to look forward to most days which make’s me smile and I have the hunch that the feeling is mutual. Guess I just don’t want to get hurt as I have been hurt so many times in the past. I am going to have to protect myself in some way, answers on a postcard please, lol.
Still getting orders for the last of the remaining Wristbands which means I can get the competition started shortly also…
Well that was some sort of a weekend, spent all of it in hospital in so much pain and was really quite rough. I have been having ongoing health issues for quite some time now and still haven’t exactly got to the bottom of it. I was in a lot of pain the previous weekend which continued for most of the week and it was all getting too much. I have also been having terrible headaches so on the Thursday I went up and booked a course of acupuncture to a place where I have been before. I must admit there was a new doctor there and she was really nice and pretty much gave me double the amount of time that I was meant to have. I had needles mostly around my head and skull and a couple on my hands and feet. I am not bothered by those needles as they don’t really hurt and was mainly looking for some relief. After she gave me a 10 minute head massage, it was so nice and I felt really relaxed when I left there. Sadly the next day my headache had come back and I just didn’t feel that great. I tried to go about my day but was just finding it quite hard as I had stomach pain as well. In the afternoon I went to the walk in centre and saw a nurse and she said she couldn’t treat me and that I needed to go to A&E. So off I went on my journey to A&E on a Friday evening, not the best time to go.
I didn’t have to wait that long to be seen, I saw the out of hours GP service to begin and he could see I was in a lot of pain. For some reason he seemed to think I had a kidney stone so he made a referral to the Urology team and asked me to wait to see them. It wasn’t too long before a young female doctor came to see and she then examined me. I showed her where the pain was in my stomach which was pretty intense although she seemed to think it was my appendix. I was next rushed upstairs to be admitted, rushed to X-ray and ultrasound and had some bloods taken also. All of it happened pretty quickly as she was worried if it was my appendix then obviously it can be pretty dangerous. The scan showed I had some problems with my stomach and that was probably the reason why I was in so much pain. I was then admitted to another ward as it wasn’t actually a kidney problem that I was suffering with. I started on medication to help my stomach and also pain relief for my headaches, they had been quite intense for some time. I pretty much spent all weekend there, feeling very unwell and having to call the doctors to get more pain relief. The young lady doctor that was looking after me was so kind and caring and she always did her best to maker sure I would be ok. The problem was that because I was initially admitted to Urology but then moved to another ward if I needed anything they had to bleep my doctors. It turned out to be a nightmare and whenever they did their rounds I was last or they didn’t come at all. Most of the staff at the weekend were a nightmare and not a lot happens as the main doctors work Monday to Friday. I knew the doctor was also trying to get the Neurologist’s involved due to my extreme headaches but nothing happened there in the end either. Time just seem to pass slowly, not a lot got done, I could see the things that hadn’t been done and I felt abandoned on the ward a lot of the time. I mean I was admitted on the Friday and was only given a wristband on the Monday. A urine sample was requested and never even got tested, the list was endless, let alone some of the lazy nurses.
I waited all morning on Monday to see a doctor to find out what was going on so I knew how long I would be staying or whether I would be going home. Some of the treatment had been working so I was hoping to get home to my own surroundings and to be with my cats that I was missing. I waited most of the day in the end and finally one of the main Urology doctors came over to see me to let me know I could go home, thank god! I was discharged on the basis that I would continue the treatment at home and wait to see my Neurologist on the 28th of May.
I have still been quite rough since I got home so that’s why it’s been a little quiet and I have to try to take it easy. Yesterday I had a fair bit of catching up to do in the daytime and then I rested for most of the afternoon and evening. Today I have some bits to do also but again I am not going to do too much as I need to take care of myself. Wristband orders have still been coming in so will be sorting them out this morning and hope to get the last of them sold pretty soon.
Oh and I forgot to mention there was a young male doctor that was on call at night and he certainly made me stay there a bit more bearable. The only thing thing that did cheer me up there was a nice bit of eye candy….
Just got home this evening after an eventful few days in the hospital with not a lot being done! I am really pleased to home with my cats as I have really missed them. Now I am going to try and take it easy if at all possible as I have a fair amount to catch up with now that I’m home. I am going to write a bit more about my stay in hospital when I feel a bit more alive… But for the time being for those who are after wristbands I am opening the page again for now… http://personalitydisordersupportnetwork.com/pdsn-wristbands/
Yesterday I was doing some tweaks on the blog and I was looking around and noticed that it say’s 1679 people have subscribed to this blog!! Now I had to do a double take as I am still not sure if it’s for real but when I checked on another browser it was saying the same. So if this is the case, then that is just totally awesome and has certainly cheered me up after a somewhat rubbish weekend.
I bought some prizes yesterday with some of the money raised from the PDSN wristbands and it’s all very exciting! I will be running the first PDSN competition online and have some nice prizes to give out which I feel is along the subject line of mental health. I really am getting so much out of running this project and it’s a joy to come on each day and see how well it’s growing. The bigger the page’s grow then the more awareness there will be and in turn this will help to reduce the stigma. Personality Disorder does sometimes get misrepresented by the media or misunderstood and misjudged my the general public. Gosh a lot of mis’s there, ha ha!
I have been up early again this morning as my little cat Lucky decided it would be nice to wake me up at 04:30! As usual he sits in a box on top of a cabinet by my bedroom door meowing! Should he not get attention from that then he will start pushing the door with his paw which bangs and wakes me up. Little sod, gotta love him but think I may need a nap at some point today……..
I was going to write a post in my past section this morning but then it all felt a bit painful and I kinda just froze and lost my train of thought so maybe it’s not the right time. Had a good week up until Friday afternoon, busy, busy what with all the orders to get organised and then send out. I have been having a lot of headache’s recently and I was at my friend’s house when another headache came on. The headache was more around my temple’s though so I took some painkillers but didn’t really do anything. Later she gave me something stronger, it took the edge of it but was still having pain. My head felt like someone had their hands around my skull and was literally crushing it, it was awful. I ended up seeing an out of hours GP and she couldn’t help so I just came home and tried my best to relax. I have some TMJ problems (my jaw) and it’s highly likely something to do with that and it has been going on for some time. I have been to the specialist and wear a mouth guard at night but it seems I am clenching during the night. Most mornings when I wake up, my lower teeth seem to be stuck in position locked with my upper teeth. I am unaware I am doing it as I am asleep but it’s very annoying and in turn causing me pain. I have given it to the doctors and going to try a low dose of a tablet and hope that it helps as it’s mainly my health issues and pain that seem to get me down at the moment.
Yesterday was pretty quiet, I posted out some orders, went shopping, did some running around and went to see a friend. I stayed round my friend’s for a few hours and then came home in the afternoon. I cooked some lovely fish for dinner in the evening with roasted sweet potato’s and curly kale, was lovely. I really enjoy cooking and I eat fish most of the time these days and I don’t eat much red meat any more either. I used to be a fan of red meat but not as much these days and according to health advisor’s too much may be harming us. So it’s a good thing I like fish as that’s mostly what we eat, otherwise chicken or turkey and lots of fresh steamed vegetables.
So it’s a bank holiday and I have no major plans apart from the football game tomorrow, the weather isn’t that either and hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow. I just had a look at the weather forecast and looks like it might rain tomorrow, boo as I don’t like being cold and wet. I am pretty tired this morning as my boy cat was meowing at the bedroom door at 5:15am wanting feeding and letting out and once I am up it’s hard to go back to sleep. Although saying that I might try to have a little lay down and see if I can get a little power nap again this morning. It’s still only 7am and nothing much going on this early so fingers crossed I might get a little extra sleep in….