I really wish I could find more time to write on here as every time I come back I am annoyed at how long it takes for me to come back. I am just in a place at the moment where I feel stuck and can’t seem to move on. I have talked about my health issues for a while now and they are still ongoing to no avail. The hospital that I am under have been a complete nightmare and just sending me round in circles, just wish I knew what was going on.  I talked about having my MRI scan before and not getting my results, all I know is the MRI was normal, that was it, no follow-up. I phoned the hospital and managed to speak to the Neurologist’s secretary and told about all  my symptoms, that I would like a follow-up to find out. I went into the hospital and complained to PALS who also called the secretary, who got back to me with no avail. I now have to go back to my GP and get a new referral into Neurology and this has been going on since October. All of it has really started to get me down, the depression has been kicking in and I have been having panic attacks about once a week. Life has just been really hard lately and I am just trying to stay on top of it before it all goes down hill. I have also had dental troubles, had a failed root canal and then and a tooth removed. Since that my jaw has become inflamed and have a swollen temporomandibular joint which has been causing me problems. I just feel like I am falling apart, I ache all the time and my body seems like it’s telling me something is wrong. The fact that I tremble most of the time is not something that I am used to, especially when I lie down it’s really noticeable. Parts of my arms, legs and face keep going numb, I get vertigo, lower back and neck pain is enough to get anyone down. I just feel like my body is attacking itself at the moment which really isn’t a nice feeling. Oh and I forgot to mention the spasm’s I get, it can either be my muscles or I my nerves wriggling around, it’s just horrible.

So I guess I haven’t written much as I feel like I would probably just come on here and moan as the main thing in my life at the moment is my health. The only thing I have been focussing on and the main thing that has been taking up my time. I am still caring for someone although I am just letting him get on with things as he doesn’t seem to change himself anyway. I tried with all my might to help him but things just seem to go the way they always have done. Mind you, with all my health worries, it’s better having someone around rather than being on my own going through this… I think!?

About a month ago we did go back down to Kent for another weeks break which was nice. We were able to take the cats which is what I need and got a bigger room this time. The bigger room meant we had more room and the cats had more space to run about which was nice for them too. We went for some walks, cooked nice food, had some nice meals and had a log fire in the evenings. In fact it was really cold at that time so having the log fire was great and every night I really enjoyed getting it going and looking after it.

The weather being really dark and cold hasn’t been great either, it wasn’t long after we got back that it snowed and we had no sunlight either. Mind you the cats really enjoyed playing in the snow and I had a couple of walks with all my ski type gear on which wasn’t too bad. I have been trying to walk most days to help my mood lift and it’s also good for shedding a few pounds. I also got myself a cross trainer with my Christmas money and I have to say I am very happy with it. The good thing is, its low impact which means it won’t hurt my joints too much which I really need at the moment. I have used it twice and plan on using it as often as I can at the moment in the hope that my mood starts to lift a little. Well I finally had something positive to say, lol and wish I could come on here more to say positive things. Oh and another positive thing is, the fan page is doing great, over 1250 members now and growing. Lots of people in a similar place who are interacting and enjoying the posts so I am pleased about that…..

I look forward to coming back here and writing more positive things here soon.